Chapter 9

Anyway, as I was saying, Rob works at the mall information desk on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights, so we stopped by to say hi and to give him a hard time. We walked up and Andrea flashed her biggest smile. "Hi Rob. My sister and I would like some information please."

Rob straightened his tie and tried to look professional. "Anything for Alaina and her little sister," he grinned. "I am the man with all of the answers, after all."

"Well, we'll see about that. I bet we can stump you." Andi's eyes twinkled mischievously. She always loves a challenge. And if it involves getting attention from a cute boy, it's even better.

"Okay, you're on." Rob looked at me. "Laina, if you can come up with even one question that I don't know the answer to, then I'll leave your diary alone for a week. But when I prove that I am smarter than you, then you have to take me out to lunch next week."

I couldn't believe that Rob was questioning my intelligence! Again! I thought that we had settled this clear back in 8^th grade, when he told me that I wasn't smart enough to read and understand a book as long and complicated as Gone with the Wind. I bet him that I could read it in a week. Not only did I read the book in only 6 days (it would have been less than that, but I accidentally left it in my locker over the weekend), but I only missed one question when I took the extra-credit English quiz over the novel!

If that wasn't enough to prove my intelligence, there was the time in 9^th grade that Rob made fun of one of the short stories I was working on. He told me that I didn't know how to write, so I stapled the pages together and submitted my rough draft to the Young Author's competition.

My story won first place in the local competition and an honorable mention at the state level. I am certain that, if I had taken the time to revise the story and submit it in a better format, it would have won the state competition as well. Maybe it would even have placed at the national level.

Then, in our sophomore year, Rob told me that I wasn't smart enough to compete in the Math Olympiad competition. I entered, and I kicked his butt! Well, okay, I didn't really kick his butt. I tied with Rob for 2^nd place. But the point is that he didn't beat me!

And last year, when he told me that I would be humiliated and laughed out of the running with my entry for the History Fair, I submitted my map of Marco Polo's travels anyway, and I won 4^th place! It really doesn't matter that Rob brought home the blue ribbon, because I still proved that he was wrong. I was not laughed out of the competition, and I think that 4^th place is still a great accomplishment!

I don't know what makes Rob think that I am not very bright, but I was not going to let him get away with questioning my intellect! "All right, Mr. Know-it-All," I asked, "who invented the zipper?"

"Well, the basic zipper was invented by Whitcomb L. Judson, although he didn't actually call it a zipper, and it was not widely accepted at the time. Gideon Sundback improved on Judson's design and made the concept a little bit more popular, but he still didn't call it a zipper. So I guess you could say that the B.F. Goodrich company, when they decided to use Sundback's design on some rubber boots and called the contraption a zipper, really invented the 'zipper' as we know it."

Andi giggled. "I'm impressed, Rob. You know a lot about zippers. What about geography? What is the capital of Ghana?"

Rob didn't even bat an eyelash. "Accra. Next question, Laina."

"Okay…" I thought for a moment. "What is the atomic weight of Beryllium?"

"Well," Rob smiled, "that's kind of a trick question, you know. Many scientists would argue that atomic weight is a misnomer, since weight is determined by a combination of mass and the gravitational pull exerted on an object. Thus, weight would vary slightly by location and be an inaccurate measurement. A more correct term would be relative atomic mass. However, since most non-scientists, like you, simply accept the term 'atomic weight' as correct, I will let this one slide. The answer is 9.012."

I hate when Rob does that! I know all about the difference between mass and weight! I was hoping to trip him up with my trick question, but instead, he made it look like I simply didn't know what I was talking about! I was fuming! But I didn't have long to worry about it, because Andi was ready with the next question.

"Which author used the pen name Peter Jackson in 1923?"

"Ernest Hemingway. Your turn, Laina."

I decided to try to trip Rob up with a really obvious, easy question. "Who is Ted Geisel?"

Rob hesitated, and I grinned. I was sure that I had him! But then he smiled and started speaking in that annoyingly patronizing tone that he likes to use when he talks to me. "I think that your question should be 'Who was Ted Geisel?' since he's dead. But I guess I will let that slide too. Theodore Geisel, or Ted, as you called him, was the real name of that beloved children's author, Dr. Seuss. He also wrote some books under the pen name Theo LeSieg, which, as you may or may not know, is Geisel spelled backward!"

I did know that. What I didn't know was why Rob tries so hard to make me feel dumb!

Andi decided to get clever. She borrowed a question from one of our favorite movies. "What is the average airspeed velocity of a fully laden swallow?"

I laughed. I expected Rob to ask her to specify whether she was talking about an African or a European swallow, but he didn't. He just answered "11 meters per second" and then turned to me, waiting for my next question.

I blanked. All I could think of was my dad's favorite ice-breaking question. "What do you think of the political situation in Zimbabwe?" It wasn't really a question with a set answer, but I decided that it still worked, because it did ask for information, and it still had the potential to stump Rob if he couldn't come up with a coherent answer.

But as I asked the question, Rob's boss came striding over. "Sorry, ladies, but I am going to have to ask you to leave. Rob has work to do, and I am not paying him to flirt with pretty girls."

I laughed. "Oh, we are not flirting, believe me! We needed some information, so we stopped here."

Rob's boss snorted. "Well, now it's time for you to move along, miss." He rolled his eyes and spun on his heel to walk away. As he left, he looked over his shoulder and barked, "Rob, kiss your girlfriend goodbye and get back to work!"

Rob blushed. Andi and I laughed. I looked at Andi. "I didn't know that you and Rob were an item. When did this happen?"

She smiled. "I'm not sure that I remember him asking me out. Maybe he's your boyfriend. But either way, I guess he should have our phone number so that he can call me, I mean us, later!" Andi turned to Rob. "Do you have a pen? I will write our number down for you."

Rob, still a brilliant shade of crimson, shook his head and laughed self-consciously. "No need. I already know it. I'm the information guy, remember? It's my job to know all of the important information that people might ask about. And Alaina Andersen's phone number definitely tops the list, doesn't it?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes, and we walked away. It was such a typical Rob thing to say. I've never given him my phone number, and there are about a million Andersens in the phone book, so how in the world would he know which one was my number? Why would he even want to know my phone number? It's not like we do much talking outside of class. And he would never stoop so low as to call me for help on the homework, even if he needed it!

As we walked away, Andi nudged me. "See?" she whispered. "It is so obvious that he is completely in love with you!"

I don't know what she was talking about. Rob was rude and insulting to me the entire time that we were talking. Andi was the one that he was being nice to! He didn't make fun of her questions or pick on her at all!