Chapter 5

I used to be extremely jealous of Andrea, because she is so gorgeous and she gets everything that she wants without even really trying. But it doesn’t bother me anymore. Really. I mean, it’s really not her fault that she gets any guy she wants. And she can’t help it that she usually gets any guy I want too! It’s that whole Snow White syndrome. When you’re the “fairest one of all,” it’s only natural for every warm-blooded male in the vicinity to go crazy when you walk into the room, right?

Honestly, it’s not Andi’s fault that almost every guy I’ve ever been interested in has asked me to set them up on a date with my little sister. She can’t help being more appealing to them than I am. We are just natural opposites. Andi got all of the best qualities from the family gene pool. She was blessed with the beauty and wit and charm and confidence – all of the qualities that guys are looking for in a girl. I got stuck with the brains and a “good sense of humor” – the kinds of qualities that make me just a good “buddy.”

Andi and I have the same height, the same sense of humor and the same last name. The similarities end right there. If you saw us out in public, you would never even guess that we were related! We really don’t look alike at all.

I wish that I could be as thin and gorgeous as Andi is, but it will never happen. We are just built differently. I am slightly chubby. Andi is thin as a rail. Diets never seem to work for me. Andi never has to think about dieting. I have tried every diet imaginable. Andi can eat junk food all day long, and she never gains an ounce!

My measurements are 42” / 25” / 34” and it’s impossible to find clothes that fit me right. I usually have to buy shirts and dresses in size 16 or 18, just to fit across my chest, and then Mom has to pull out her sewing machine to take them in at the waistline so that they don’t hang like a potato sack on me. I guess it’s a good thing that Mom can sew, but it would be even nicer if I wasn’t so top heavy!

Andi’s measurements are 26” / 22” / 26” – a perfect “hourglass figure”! She can always buy anything she wants right off the rack and have it fit perfectly. It’s like the designers used Andi as the model of the perfect woman when designing their fashions. This makes sense, I guess, considering the fact that she really is pretty perfect.

Andrea is such a great sister, though, that I really can’t envy her good luck in the beauty department. She even pretends to envy me so that I won’t feel so bad about my unfortunate shape.

“Laina, it’s not fair,” she’ll say. “How am I ever going to get Mark to notice me when he only sees me around you? There’s no way that I can compete with a body like yours!”

Mark is in band with us, the only class that Andi and I have together. He used to sit next to me in 5th grade, and we would get in trouble for talking too much in class. He is really funny, and he’s always been really good at making me laugh. I introduced him to Andi when we were in the Eastland Junior High wind ensemble together. She has been in love with Mark for years, but she absolutely refuses to do anything about it. She never even talks to him if I’m not around to get the conversation going for her.

Andi thinks that Mark will never notice her. I think she’s crazy. He already has. I’m sure he likes her. Everyone does. All she has to do is snap her fingers, and she can have any guy she wants! Mark is no different.

“Andi, you’re being ridiculous again. You are absolutely gorgeous! Besides, a body like mine is easy to compete with.” I frowned into the mirror. “No one could ever be attracted to this!”

I glared at my reflection and tried to convince myself that the mirror must be warped, like those funhouse mirrors at a carnival, where everything is skewed and disproportionate. I tried to believe that I didn’t really look as bad as the mirror made it appear. But when Andi stood next to me, I had to accept that it wasn’t the mirror that was warped. It was just me. Alaina Ann Andersen, the walking funhouse mirror!

“I’ll tell you what, Laina,” Andi bubbled. “Why don’t we just switch bodies? I can look like you and you can look like me, and then we’ll both be happy. Although, I don’t know why you aren’t happy with the way things are now. I would never want to look like me if I had the chance to look like you!”

“Yeah, why don’t you just get to work and invent a body-switching machine?” I asked. “Let me know when it’s ready, and you’ve got yourself a new body!”

“Don’t be silly,” she giggled. “We both know that you are the brainiac of the family. You’re going to have to put together the body-switching machine yourself – but I'm a great shopper. I can buy the parts you need, if you make me a list!”

We have this conversation almost every morning, while we’re getting ready for school, and it always ends with both of us laughing so hard that we’re almost late. I think it’s sweet that Andrea would put on the act just to make me feel better. Honestly, I would trade bodies with her in a heartbeat, if such a thing were possible, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she would not really trade shapes with me, even if she could. After all, who in her right mind would ever trade being thin and gorgeous for being chunky and lopsided?

But like I said, I am not jealous. I know that Andrea can’t help being the object of every guy’s dreams. And really, she is one of my best friends. We have so much fun together, and I know that she really loves me and wants me to be happy. Even though we don’t have a single thing in common, I really am closer to Andi than anyone else. And it’s not just because she’s my sister. She’s just an amazing person and a great friend. And she always knows the right thing to do or say in just about every circumstance. (I wish I had that ability!)

The bottom line is that Andi is always there for me. Through thick and thin, happy or sad, no matter what, my little sister has got my back. She makes me laugh when I’m feeling blue, she helps me to put things into perspective when I go a little bit crazy, and she is always really careful about trying not to make me feel inferior. What more could I ask for in a sister? I’m really lucky to have Andi in my life, even if she does outshine me at every turn.