Chapter 11

Andrea and I have so little in common that it's hard to believe we're such good friends. I imagine that people are often shocked to see us hanging out together. We really aren't the types that you would expect to see together at all. I guess that whole "sisters" thing must be pretty powerful, because, honestly, if we weren't related, I don't see how we would ever have been friends! I don't even know how we can get along so well!

I never have to wonder what I have in common with my best girl friend, Kendra Smith. She and I are like two proverbial peas in a pod. We could practically be twins! We are even exactly the same age. We have the same birthday!

Well, we almost have the same birthday. Kendra is only three days older than me, so we figure that it's close enough to tell people that we share a birthday. In fact, ever since we found out how close our birthdays are, we have celebrated our birthdays together with joint birthday parties or a special birthday dinner together.

Actually, it was the amazing coincidence of our nearly-shared birthday that brought us together as best friends for life. Believe it or not, Kendra and I did not like each other when we met! In fact, I really hated her at first.

Once upon a time, back in 1^st and 2^nd grade, I was the most popular girl at Whitcomb Elementary School. The girls wanted to be just like me, and the boys thought that I was pretty neat. Seth and his best friend, Kenny, even fought on the playground one day over who got to be my boyfriend. I never could understand that, because I didn't even love Kenny! I was sure that Seth would be my boyfriend forever, and I told my mom that we were going to get married one day. Still, I thought it was kind of flattering that they both wanted to be my boyfriend so much that they would fight each other about it!

When Kendra moved in, near the end of 2^nd grade, she was an immediate hit. Rachel and Missy invited her to sit in the empty chair at our table in class, and they were enchanted by her description of life on her new ranch. No one even wanted to hear about my new tree fort that my daddy had built in my back yard.

At recess, Carla and Sharon told Kendra that she could be the princess stuck in the tower, even though I was the one who invented the Princess in the Tower Game! They wanted me to be the wicked witch, but I told them I was too busy picking dandelions for a bride's bouquet. Why would I want to be a wicked witch?

To make matters worse, during silent reading time, Seth let Kendra share the big beanbag chair with him. I usually sat on the big beanbag chair with Seth, but that day, I had to sit on the pillow pile in the corner with Kenny, Rob and Carla instead.

Still, I was certain that the novelty would wear off, and by the end of the day, everything would be back to normal. But then, Kendra played the ultimate "I win" card. She told everyone in class that they could come over to ride her pony, Dolly, any time they wanted. After that, I knew that I had lost. There was absolutely no way to compete with a pony!

For nearly a year, Kendra and I were bitter enemies. I prayed daily that she would go away. I hoped that she would move back to wherever she had come from. No such luck! And no matter what I did, Kendra always won. I wasn't the most popular girl in school anymore, because everyone liked Kendra too. Even Kenny stopped following me around at recess, because he decided that he wanted to be Kendra's boyfriend!

Then, in 3^rd grade, I brought my favorite homemade cream-filled chocolate fudge cupcakes to school for my birthday. Every year, the kids in my class told me that my mom's famous cream-filled chocolate fudge cupcakes were the best ever, so I knew that this was exactly what I needed to restore the proper social order at Whitcomb Elementary.

I thought that I was going to cry when Kendra walked into class, proudly carrying a tray full of cupcakes as well! Hers were white cake with mountains of pink frosting and purple and white sprinkles. Each one was topped with a large rock-candy gemstone. They weren't homemade, because Kendra's mom doesn't enjoy baking like mine does, but they were very pretty, and I was afraid that I was going to lose again!

Our classmates all said that it was the best birthday celebration ever because everyone got two cupcakes that day. Luckily, Kendra and I don't like the same kind of cupcakes, because if they were the same, Mrs. Grover would have told everyone that one cupcake was plenty. She did that when Bryan and Brenda (the Baker twins) each brought a batch of cupcakes for their birthday. They had to take half of them home again, because Mrs. Grover didn't think it was a good idea for children to have too much sugar in one afternoon. But when Kendra and I brought our cupcakes in, Mrs. Grover couldn't decide which one she wanted to try, so she let everyone have one of each.

I don't think I will ever understand how anyone could possibly prefer boring white cake to a rich, chocolate fudge cake, but I didn't complain when Kendra whispered that she didn't like chocolate and offered to give me her chocolate cream-filled cupcake. I gladly traded my white cupcake for it, since I wasn't planning on eating it anyway, so we were both happy, even though I clearly got the better end of the deal!

Mrs. Grover even gave us an extra long recess that day. She said that we needed extra time to run off all of the sugar we had just consumed or we would never be able to concentrate on our multiplication tables. All of the girls decided that Kendra and I should be Twin Princesses in the Tower, and even the boys agreed to play with us. Seth was a brave knight that fought all of the evil dragons and ogres (Josh, Rob and Mark) and defeated the evil wizard (Kenny) to set us free. Kendra and I have been fast friends ever since.

 

Chapter 10

After we "Robbed the mall" (and got kicked out by Rob's boss), it was time to move on to phase two of Andi's script. We had decided to "hit every Mini Mart in town." Literally. We drove to each of the eight Mini Marts, got out of the car at each one and smacked the side of the building. At the second Mini Mart, we ran into Andi's really cute friend, Dave.

Dave used to work with me, when I worked as a telemarketer last year, so he kind of knows me too, but he is obviously hooked on Andrea, like every other ordinary, red-blooded American teenage boy! Dave stood there, watching us jump out of the car, giggling like crazy, and smack the side of the Mini Mart. Before we could run back to the car, Dave asked me, "What in the world are you two pretty ladies doing?"

Through fits of giggles, Andrea managed to explain our quest for the evening. "Well, you see, everyone always says that Alaina here is a perfect angel. I decided that she needed a little bit of corruption in her life,"

"I could help you corrupt her," Dave grinned.

Andi ignored him. "So I am taking her out on a wild night of crime and passion. We already 'robbed the mall'…"

Dave looked at me in confusion. "You did what?" he asked.

"We just got finished Robbing the mall," I assured him, trying to keep my expression as serious as possible.

Dave scratched his head and squinted at me, as if he was trying to decipher a particularly intricate puzzle. "Okay, I know that you would never do something like that," he insisted. "You really have to fill me in on the joke."

After I explained the whole idea behind the word play, Andrea continued, "… and now, we are hitting every Mini Mart in town."

Dave laughed and asked if he could join our "gang," but we had to make it clear that there was no room for any "yucky boys" in this little crime spree! After all, this was strictly a sisters' night, and Andi and I were not going to be sidetracked, no matter how cute Dave might be.

Still, he wasn't easily discouraged, and when we left the Mini Mart, Dave actually started following us! He showed up at every one of the Mini Mart parking lots all night long, so we added him to our narrative, saying that "we led a high speed chase through the city streets." Even on our strict "girls-only" night, Andi had cute guys following her around. I can't really be upset about it, though, because Andrea didn't invite him along or anything. He kind of invited himself.

Meanwhile, we went through the drive through at Hardees and ordered nothing but water. That way, we could add "drinking and driving" to our "high speed chase!" Dave even followed us to Hardees, although he didn't follow us through the drive through lane. He waited in the parking lot while we got our drinks.

Finally, as we "hit" the last Mini Mart, Dave looked at his watch. "Oh man! It's 10:15!" he exclaimed. "I've got to go! I was supposed to pick Heather up after work at 9:00! She is going to kill me! I will catch you later girls – if I'm still alive!"

He quickly gave us each a hug and ran back to his car. I shook my head as he sped away. I couldn't believe it. Andi is so cute that she even makes guys forget about their girlfriends!

Our night ended at the Burger King on Main Street, so that we could say that we "harassed and threatened the employees." In other words, we stopped to tease our friends a bit. (It seems like half of the kids at Southbrook work at Burger King!)

Shane was working, so it was really hard to stick with the "no yucky boys" rule. I really wanted to flirt with him, because I am determined to try to make him like me. But I was good. I didn't flirt at all, even though I did talk to him the whole time we were there.

And when he started picking on me, I threatened to stop helping him with his chemistry homework or something. Of course, I would never actually do that, because then I wouldn't have my good excuse to hang out with him outside of class, but I had to make some sort of threat, or the narrative wouldn't work, would it?

I didn't really want anything to eat, especially not fattening fast food. But Shane was working at the cash register, so I had to have some reason to hang around for a while. The cups of water we originally came in for wouldn't give us any excuse to stay, because really, how long does it take to fill two cups with ice water? So I ordered some French fries, and then we stood at the counter to talk to him while he got the fries for us.

Andi was telling Shane all about our "night of crime," and he decided that he had to contribute to our delinquency. "How would you like to add Grand Theft, Auto to your list of felonies?"

I smiled. "Oooh. Does this mean that you're gonna let me steal your car? I'll take good care of her for you." Shane has a 1956 Chevy Bel Air convertible that I absolutely love. He rebuilt the engine all by himself. Well, at least, he worked hard to earn the money with which he paid the guy who did the work all by himself, and that's got to count for something, right?

The car is red and white and rust. Yeah, it needs a paint job, and there are some dents that need to be fixed. Sure, it's missing the glove box, and there is a tear in the upholstery of the back seat. But that car has potential. It has personality.

Shane's car is a lot like me – it could be beautiful with a lot of work, and it really needs a lot of work, but it's still fun in the meantime. On the few occasions when Shane has given me a ride home from school, I have felt so comfortable in that car. One of these days, I'm sure that I will get him to let me drive it.

"Not a chance!" Shane laughed. I love that laugh! It turns my insides to mush! "I don't let anyone drive my baby. You know that. But I will give you a ride in her. I'll take you anywhere you want to go."

"Anywhere? Hmmm…" I had to really be careful, because it would be so easy to flirt when he gave me an opening like that. And flirting was strictly against the rules for our "no yucky boys" night. Still, I had to say something – something to show Shane the importance of choosing his words carefully.

Of course, I knew that he didn't really mean "anywhere" when he said that he would take me anywhere that I wanted to go, but I had to pretend that I thought it was an open invitation. I figured that the safest bet was to choose someplace so outrageous that he would never agree to it. Someplace way beyond the scope of reality.

"How about Disneyland? That's the 'Happiest Place on Earth' you know." I figured that Disneyland was a safe choice. It was far enough away to be completely outrageous. (There was no way that he would agree to take a trip of hundreds of miles and across state lines just to keep a half-hearted promise to me!) And Disneyland isn't some kind of romantic destination that would imply flirting or anything.

"Disneyland?" he asked. "Sure. We can do that. How about we start tonight? Just wait until I get off work. I'm pretty sure that I could even find a deserted dirt road somewhere along the way where we could run out of gas. Then, I can take you to the 'Happiest Place on Earth.'" Shane winked. I blushed. Andi laughed like crazy.

This was starting to sound like flirting. At least, I hope it was just flirting. I hope he wasn't seriously agreeing to take me on an overnight road trip. I hope he didn't think that I was really, seriously suggesting it! And flirting was strictly against the rules for our "no boys" (are they really that yucky, after all?) "night of crime."

So I steered the conversation back onto safer ground. "Well, if I don't get to take your car, then how do we get away with Grand Theft Auto? You do realize that I am not up to committing any real felonies, right?"

Shane and Andrea both laughed this time. And they laughed for an awfully long time before Shane managed to speak again. "Oh, Alaina! You are so sweet and naïve! That is what I love about you!" (Did Shane say he loved me? I sure wish he meant it!)

"No, I get it," he chuckled. "Believe it or not, I actually caught on to the whole idea. Don't worry. That's not the way that I want to corrupt you. I can think of other ways that would be much more fun." He winked again, and Andi laughed so hard that she had to sit down, right on the floor.

Shane didn't charge me for my French fries, and he gave us at least twice as many as would usually be in a regular order of fries. (That made it "grand theft," right?) Then, he gave me one of the Transformers car toys that they were giving away in the kids' meals, because he knows that I have a collection of kids' meal toys at home. He didn't charge me for the toy either, which made it "grand theft, auto," right?

Andrea kept nudging and winking at me while we were talking to Shane. I could tell that she thought he was interested in me. I have to admit that I was really hopeful. I would love to believe that he was trying to flirt with me last night. After all, he did give me free stuff, and it took him almost 20 minutes to get my fries for me while we talked. It was almost like he was taking a long time on purpose because he didn't want me to leave yet.

But realistically, I know that he was probably too distracted with watching Andi to remember what he was actually supposed to be doing. Besides, as we were leaving, he said "Goodbye, beautiful ladies," and he smiled right at Andrea!

It was fun, though. And after our "wild night of rebellion," no one could ever claim that I won't consider breaking a few rules! After all, in only one night's time, we "Robbed the mall, and then hit every Mini Mart in town. We led a high speed chase through the city streets while drinking and driving. We threatened and harassed the locals, and then we committed grand theft, auto!!" Can you imagine what it would do to my "perfect angel" reputation if that rumor started making the rounds at school?

The best part is that Andi kept her promise. Say what you will about my flaky little sister, but she never breaks a promise. I know that I can always count on her. And as always, Andrea was watching out for me that night. She made sure that I didn't have to break a single one of our parents' rules or do anything that I wouldn't normally do in our whole big, "wild" and "dangerous" evening! I could still look at myself in the mirror afterward and like the person I saw staring back at me.

Chapter 9

Anyway, as I was saying, Rob works at the mall information desk on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights, so we stopped by to say hi and to give him a hard time. We walked up and Andrea flashed her biggest smile. "Hi Rob. My sister and I would like some information please."

Rob straightened his tie and tried to look professional. "Anything for Alaina and her little sister," he grinned. "I am the man with all of the answers, after all."

"Well, we'll see about that. I bet we can stump you." Andi's eyes twinkled mischievously. She always loves a challenge. And if it involves getting attention from a cute boy, it's even better.

"Okay, you're on." Rob looked at me. "Laina, if you can come up with even one question that I don't know the answer to, then I'll leave your diary alone for a week. But when I prove that I am smarter than you, then you have to take me out to lunch next week."

I couldn't believe that Rob was questioning my intelligence! Again! I thought that we had settled this clear back in 8^th grade, when he told me that I wasn't smart enough to read and understand a book as long and complicated as Gone with the Wind. I bet him that I could read it in a week. Not only did I read the book in only 6 days (it would have been less than that, but I accidentally left it in my locker over the weekend), but I only missed one question when I took the extra-credit English quiz over the novel!

If that wasn't enough to prove my intelligence, there was the time in 9^th grade that Rob made fun of one of the short stories I was working on. He told me that I didn't know how to write, so I stapled the pages together and submitted my rough draft to the Young Author's competition.

My story won first place in the local competition and an honorable mention at the state level. I am certain that, if I had taken the time to revise the story and submit it in a better format, it would have won the state competition as well. Maybe it would even have placed at the national level.

Then, in our sophomore year, Rob told me that I wasn't smart enough to compete in the Math Olympiad competition. I entered, and I kicked his butt! Well, okay, I didn't really kick his butt. I tied with Rob for 2^nd place. But the point is that he didn't beat me!

And last year, when he told me that I would be humiliated and laughed out of the running with my entry for the History Fair, I submitted my map of Marco Polo's travels anyway, and I won 4^th place! It really doesn't matter that Rob brought home the blue ribbon, because I still proved that he was wrong. I was not laughed out of the competition, and I think that 4^th place is still a great accomplishment!

I don't know what makes Rob think that I am not very bright, but I was not going to let him get away with questioning my intellect! "All right, Mr. Know-it-All," I asked, "who invented the zipper?"

"Well, the basic zipper was invented by Whitcomb L. Judson, although he didn't actually call it a zipper, and it was not widely accepted at the time. Gideon Sundback improved on Judson's design and made the concept a little bit more popular, but he still didn't call it a zipper. So I guess you could say that the B.F. Goodrich company, when they decided to use Sundback's design on some rubber boots and called the contraption a zipper, really invented the 'zipper' as we know it."

Andi giggled. "I'm impressed, Rob. You know a lot about zippers. What about geography? What is the capital of Ghana?"

Rob didn't even bat an eyelash. "Accra. Next question, Laina."

"Okay…" I thought for a moment. "What is the atomic weight of Beryllium?"

"Well," Rob smiled, "that's kind of a trick question, you know. Many scientists would argue that atomic weight is a misnomer, since weight is determined by a combination of mass and the gravitational pull exerted on an object. Thus, weight would vary slightly by location and be an inaccurate measurement. A more correct term would be relative atomic mass. However, since most non-scientists, like you, simply accept the term 'atomic weight' as correct, I will let this one slide. The answer is 9.012."

I hate when Rob does that! I know all about the difference between mass and weight! I was hoping to trip him up with my trick question, but instead, he made it look like I simply didn't know what I was talking about! I was fuming! But I didn't have long to worry about it, because Andi was ready with the next question.

"Which author used the pen name Peter Jackson in 1923?"

"Ernest Hemingway. Your turn, Laina."

I decided to try to trip Rob up with a really obvious, easy question. "Who is Ted Geisel?"

Rob hesitated, and I grinned. I was sure that I had him! But then he smiled and started speaking in that annoyingly patronizing tone that he likes to use when he talks to me. "I think that your question should be 'Who was Ted Geisel?' since he's dead. But I guess I will let that slide too. Theodore Geisel, or Ted, as you called him, was the real name of that beloved children's author, Dr. Seuss. He also wrote some books under the pen name Theo LeSieg, which, as you may or may not know, is Geisel spelled backward!"

I did know that. What I didn't know was why Rob tries so hard to make me feel dumb!

Andi decided to get clever. She borrowed a question from one of our favorite movies. "What is the average airspeed velocity of a fully laden swallow?"

I laughed. I expected Rob to ask her to specify whether she was talking about an African or a European swallow, but he didn't. He just answered "11 meters per second" and then turned to me, waiting for my next question.

I blanked. All I could think of was my dad's favorite ice-breaking question. "What do you think of the political situation in Zimbabwe?" It wasn't really a question with a set answer, but I decided that it still worked, because it did ask for information, and it still had the potential to stump Rob if he couldn't come up with a coherent answer.

But as I asked the question, Rob's boss came striding over. "Sorry, ladies, but I am going to have to ask you to leave. Rob has work to do, and I am not paying him to flirt with pretty girls."

I laughed. "Oh, we are not flirting, believe me! We needed some information, so we stopped here."

Rob's boss snorted. "Well, now it's time for you to move along, miss." He rolled his eyes and spun on his heel to walk away. As he left, he looked over his shoulder and barked, "Rob, kiss your girlfriend goodbye and get back to work!"

Rob blushed. Andi and I laughed. I looked at Andi. "I didn't know that you and Rob were an item. When did this happen?"

She smiled. "I'm not sure that I remember him asking me out. Maybe he's your boyfriend. But either way, I guess he should have our phone number so that he can call me, I mean us, later!" Andi turned to Rob. "Do you have a pen? I will write our number down for you."

Rob, still a brilliant shade of crimson, shook his head and laughed self-consciously. "No need. I already know it. I'm the information guy, remember? It's my job to know all of the important information that people might ask about. And Alaina Andersen's phone number definitely tops the list, doesn't it?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes, and we walked away. It was such a typical Rob thing to say. I've never given him my phone number, and there are about a million Andersens in the phone book, so how in the world would he know which one was my number? Why would he even want to know my phone number? It's not like we do much talking outside of class. And he would never stoop so low as to call me for help on the homework, even if he needed it!

As we walked away, Andi nudged me. "See?" she whispered. "It is so obvious that he is completely in love with you!"

I don't know what she was talking about. Rob was rude and insulting to me the entire time that we were talking. Andi was the one that he was being nice to! He didn't make fun of her questions or pick on her at all!